


Home, sweet Home

by Number_Twelve



Series: The Umbrella Academy Oneshots & others [12]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves Friendship, Big Sibling Luther Hargreeves, Gen, Ghost Ben Hargreeves, I Blame Tumblr, Inspired by several memes, Minor Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Police Officer Diego Hargreeves, Sort of? - Freeform, Tumblr Memes, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Why Did I Write This?, other tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:33:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26069530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Number_Twelve/pseuds/Number_Twelve
Summary: What happens in the Hargreeves' mansion stays in the mansion.(Well, that was untill I came along *wink wink*)
Relationships: The Hargreeves Family
Series: The Umbrella Academy Oneshots & others [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1885216
Comments: 2
Kudos: 77





	Home, sweet Home

Klaus had reason to feel terrified. 

He had just walked downstairs and into the kitchen. He had seen the cup sitting there on the table. He, feeling awfully thirsty, had picked it up and gulped its contents down in merely seconds. That's when he had realized that the cup had been filled with coffee. And that it was Five's cup.

"Shit." he hissed.

"What is it?" Ben asked him, perched on one of the chairs. Klaus held up the cup.

"I accidentally drank Five's coffee." he said. "How long do you think I've got left to live?"

"Ten." Ben said, earning a confused look from Klaus.

"Nine." Five said somewhere behind Klaus.

oOo

"You know, Luther thinks he's so smart," Five said, sipping from a new cup of coffee. Klaus was sitting in a corner, a terrified expresion on his face. Vanya was sitting opposite Five, and Ben was just hanging around.

"Oh…?" 

"Yeah. He said Onions are the only food that can make you cry." Five said smugly.

"And?" Vanya asked, stirring sugar into her own tea cup. 

"Well, I carved 'Dad sent you to the moon for no reason' on a watermelon, then left it outside his door." Five said with a smirk.

"Five, Luther's-"

"He's been crying for an hour." he cackled.

"Not funny, Five!" Allison called from the dorrway. "I'm going to go get the groceries. The lot of you, try not to burn the house down while I'm gone."

oOo

Diego was looking through various case files that he had 'borrowed' from the polices station. One of them were of a man, who had apparently drowned in a swiming pool.

"He must have been pushed in a drow-" he muttered, but Klaus cut him off, leaning on the back of his seat.

"He must have drowned while trying to drink his entire swimming pool."

oOo

Klaus was sitting on the sofa, holding a bowl of pop corn in his hands. Five sat next to him, Dolores propped up against a pillow.

"You know, sometimes when things get a bit too quiet or when I get bored, I like to break Diego's stuff and blame it on Luther." Klaus said, popping a piece of his snack into his mouth. 

"And how would that change anything?" Five asked. There was a sudden slamming noise coming from upstairs, followed by Diego shouting "LUTHER YOU FUCKING MOORON, I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS ONE!!!" Moments later, Luther suddenly crashed onto the floor in front of them, groaning as he stood and rubbed his head. 

"Oh, yay!" Klaus cheered, "The show's about to start!"

The fight went on around them, Klaus getting up halfway through and returning with a bag of marshmallows.

"Hey, do you think I can fit ten of these into my mouth?" he asked, waving the bag in front of Five. A knife flied past them, tearing psrt of the bag. The floor shuddered below them as Diego was thrown against a wall.

Five shook his head. "You are a danger to humanity."

"And a coward." Ben said with a wild smile. "Do twenty!" 

oOo

Last but not least...

Vanya groaned, unable to get back to sleep. She slipped out of bed and padded downstairs to the kitchen, where she found Klaus staring at a wall with a pained expression. Unknownt to her, she was listening to Ben sing jingle bells for the seventh time that day, even though they were in the middle of august.

"What time is it?" Vanya asked, sitting down next to Klaus. He shrugged, wordlessly taking out his phone and typing something on it. He held it up high as the badly-recorder-played version of the titanic thundered all around them. Several seconds barely passed before Five was head shouting "WHO FUCKING PLAYS THE RECORDER AT TWO AM IN THE MORNING?!". 

"There you go."


End file.
